Church Discipline
The Doctrine That Keeps You From The Cliff
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Church Discipline
It may be one of the most loving things a church ever does.
Can we admit: nobody gets excited when the pastor says, “Today we’re talking about church discipline.” This isn’t something I’ll ever find my wife stitching onto a pillow. I’m never going to order this kind of shirt off Amazon and nobody’s putting this on a coffee mug next to “Jesus is my energy.”
Church discipline sounds about as inviting as a church potluck tuna casserole that has grown little white hairs as you pull out your spoon. It feels awkward and slightly terrifying. For some people, it sounds like the theological version of being called into the principal’s office, except this time lil Debby from the third row, which she now calls “her spot,” is somehow involved and she already knows more than she should.
And because people have seen it abused, the phrase can make everybody tense up. Sometimes church people do weird things with power. (Can I just say church people can be weird in general? I say this as a participant and not as an onlooker.) Sometimes we confuse holiness with nosiness, like the little sister who’s ready to rat out her older brother, and sometimes we act like the Holy Spirit needs help from a tightly run rumor mill. Sometimes “Please pray for him” somehow contains enough detail to qualify as a police report. We can understand why people get nervous.
But the answer to bad church discipline is not “no church discipline.” Rather the answer to this is: biblical church discipline.
Church discipline is not about cruelty, revenge, or about giving intense people one more reason to schedule a meeting. It’s about rebuking and correcting sinful members for the purpose of restoring them. This is the point: Restoration.
Church discipline isn’t about humiliation, embarrassment, or even about turning the guest service table into a sanctified FBI branch. No, we have to admit and cherish that it’s about restoration. Believe me, I speak as one who has been served a decent portion of discipline in his years. Can I admit that I’m slow learning and extremely stubborn. This is the heart I write from.
But, one question I’ve struggled with in my growing and even in my fighting is:
Why does the church even do this?
And the answer that I now find sweet is: because sin is serious, and Christ is serious about the holiness of his church.
Jesus gave the church “the keys of the kingdom” in a way that includes binding and loosing, and that language is tied directly to church discipline (Matthew 16:19; 18:18). In other words, church discipline is connected to the future judgment of Christ. The church is acting now in light of the day when Christ himself will judge.
That does not mean the church gives the final, infallible verdict. That belongs to Christ alone. But it does mean the church serves as an anticipatory sign. It warns, declares, and it says, “This path is serious. Repent now.”
So we must remember that church discipline is not the “cliff.” But, rather it’s the sign near the cliff. It’s the mercy that is guiding us down the narrow path. It keeps us from the cliff. It’s as a friend who tells you your house is on fire instead of complimenting your curtains while the roof collapses. That would be ridiculous, and we all laugh, because love doesn’t act that way. Can I say right now that church discipline is love?
It’s important to understand that a church that never disciplines anybody may look “kind” and “Loving” at first glance. But sometimes that just means that it agreed to ignore disaster as long as everyone keeps smiling through announcements. This is very common: smiling and well put together church folk in the midst of utter disaster. We have to kill this kind of American Christianity.
This is not love.
Jesus gave a process, not a passive smile
One of the best things about this doctrine is that Jesus did not leave it vague. He gave a clear process in Matthew 18:15–20 (indeed, I bet you’ve heard this process). And if you look at it, you will find that the process is slow, wise, and more patient than people think.
Let’s reconsider the steps in this passage.
Step one: private confrontation
If someone sins, the first move is personal, direct, and one-on-one. No group chat. No “subtle” Facebook post. No prayer request that accidentally includes names, dates, and eyewitness details (maybe even pictures). Just one Christian going to another Christian.
I remember when I was younger my youth pastor would come to me, lovingly, and speak to me privately about things that I was going through and things that I was about to stumble into. Indeed, I did stumbled into these things (and even walked boldly into them), but his care for me and his love for me drove him to warn me even if I listened or not and even if I got mad or not.
Sadly, I did get mad and I didn’t listen and I ran from his advice and destroyed a lot of my younger years with useless and harmful sins that I could’ve avoided if I had just listened.
And that’s a key part of this first step: a person has to listen. Indeed, this first step is begging a person, in love, to listen. It’s offering a way of escape. Sadly, as humans, our way of escaping is usually the sinful way of escaping. Church discipline is the righteous way of escaping. It is the loving call to another sheep to come back before they are eaten or hurt. It is escaping the death of the cliff.
But if the person listens, the matter is settled. Reconciliation happens. The process ends.
That alone should tell us something: biblical church discipline is not eager to go public. It wants repentance and nothing else.
Step two: bring one or two others
If there is no repentance, then one or two others come along. This is not to create a tiny holy mob. It is to ensure fairness, confirm the matter, and strengthen the call to confession and reconciliation.
When I didn’t listen to my youth pastor, he soon brought the matter to the lead pastor, and they both sat down and talked to me.
And can I tell you something? It feels like a mob when you are wanting and enjoying your sin. I think this is the ugliest part of the whole thing. Sin takes what is good and makes it feel like surgery without sedation. This might be why we hate discussing church discipline: we love our sin.
But, if repentance does happens, it stops there.
It can be done and tragedy can be avoided. This is hard. And some church people can make a four-step process feel like a nine-season drama. But, Jesus is aiming for restoration because he hates sin that we at times love. That’s why this step has to happen.
Step three: tell it to the church
If the first two steps fail, the matter comes before the church. At that point, the problem is no longer private. The refusal to repent has become part of the issue. The whole church calls the person to repentance and reconciliation.
This is where everybody starts sweating. Did your heart rate increase just now? Mine too.
Because we hear “tell it to the church” and imagine a microphone, an awkward silence, a toddler dropping Goldfish crackers in the back, and one deacon suddenly distracted by a stain on the counter.
But the point is not humiliation. The point is that the church now participates in calling the person back. This is the “intensifying of love” and not the magnification of “look at this sinner.” This is the whole flock “baaahing” for the sheep to get back to safety.
Step four: excommunication
If the person still refuses to listen, the church proceeds to excommunication. Is your heart beating even faster? Just breathe.
Jesus describes the person as being treated “as a Gentile and a tax collector” that is, as an outsider to the community of faith (Matthew 18:17).
This includes removal from church membership and ministry, exclusion from the Lord’s Supper, and rupture of normal fellowship with the church.
This is severe.
And it should feel severe.
Because the church is saying, “Your life is now contradicting your confession so seriously that we cannot keep pretending all is well.”
This is a very important thing because, if done correctly, love has been expressed and extended to its borders towards the other person and that person has rejected all of it (this is the key point). The options for reconciliation were exhausted and ignored. The key here is that this wasn’t flippant and unloving but exhaustive and eager.
That’s why it’s so severe at this point.
This isn’t flippant like losing your doughnut privileges nor is it a person being bumped off the greeting team. It’s the refusal of reconciliation. And the refusal has been clearly stated. It is a sober declaration that someone you love is deciding a path that will destroy them no matter what others, who really love them, say.
This is not a place of “I told you so” but rather, “don’t let this be.”
Paul shows what this looks like in real life
In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul deals with a man involved in blatant sexual immorality with his father’s wife. The shocking part is not only the sin, but the church’s attitude. They were proud of their tolerance. Which is an old problem that is still here.
We are still the same. We still call cowardice compassion, passivity grace, we call refusal to act “being loving,” when really we are just scared of conflict and hoping the problem transfers membership before anyone has to say anything difficult. I find these attitudes in my own heart with friends, parenting, my marriage and I think it’s because we know our own sin and we are afraid of reactions from others.
Paul does not applaud this. He calls for immediate action.
He says the man is to be removed, even using the severe language of being delivered to Satan “for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 5:5).
That is strong language and it’s meant to be. Because the danger is real. But even with strong language, the purpose is ultimately salvific. The hope is that the misery of being outside the church’s fellowship will provoke repentance and lead to salvation on the day of the Lord. Sometimes being almost eaten by a wolf does more for a person than being nudged by another sheep.
If you keep reading, that same chapter also gives the church another reason for discipline: sin spreads. “A little leaven leavens the whole lump” (1 Corinthians 5:6). Tolerated sin teaches others to follow. It gives permission for passivity and it even becomes contagious.
Which means church discipline protects not only the sinner, but the church. And when repentance comes, the church should not act weird, but be prepared and ready to respond with open arms.
The default attitude must be anticipation for the return and not enjoyment of the slaughter. I say this because sometimes churches are eager to discipline but bad at forgiving. They know how to hold meetings, but not how to open their arms. They can remove someone dramatically and then welcome them back like a TSA checkpoint with hymnals.
But that’s not the New Testament pattern.
In 2 Corinthians 2:6–11, Paul urges the church to forgive and comfort the repentant man, lest he be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. In other words, once repentance happens, the church should not keep the sinner in permanent spiritual timeout. Restoration means restoration.
It does not mean:
“We forgive you, but we’ll bring this up every six months forever.”
Or,
“You can come back, but we’re going to stare at you like you stole from the offering plate.”
Or,
“We believe in grace, but only in Bible study conversation.”
No, the goal of discipline is always to get people back, not just to get them out.
What kinds of things call for discipline?
Not every sin leads to formal church discipline. If it did, every church would have five people left by Sunday night, and two of them would still be in conflict over thermostat settings.
The Bible points to several situations that call for discipline.
There is egregious public moral failure, like the sexual immorality of 1 Corinthians 5.
There is false teaching, which is why Paul warns Timothy about certain teachings in 1 Timothy 1:3–4, why elders must rebuke false teachers in Titus 1:9–14, and why believers must not receive those who do not abide in the teaching of Christ (2 John 9–11).
There is divisiveness, addressed in Romans 16:17–18, Titus 3:10–11, and 1 John 2:18–19.
There is idleness, when someone refuses to work though able to do so, as in 2 Thessalonians 3:6, 11–12.
There are leadership failures, which require special care because leaders influence many people; Paul speaks to this in 1 Timothy 5:19–21.
And there are other cases of persistent, unconfessed, public sins that can damage Christians and the church.
That list shows us that discipline is not for whatever happens to annoy lil Debby. Nor is it for having bad social skills, preferring drums in worship or not preferring drums in worship, or having very intense opinions about the biblical theology of folding chairs.
The church disciplines what Scripture calls sin. Not what church culture finds irritating. Not what I find inconvenient or slightly offensive.
The attitude matters as much as the process
More than this, even when discipline is necessary, it must be done rightly.
Paul says restoration should happen in a spirit of gentleness, while watching oneself lest one also be tempted (Galatians 6:1). That means discipline cannot be driven by vindictiveness, harshness, or spiritual pride. And let’s be honest, church people can get weird here too.
Some hear “church discipline” and suddenly become junior deputy sheriffs of holiness. They were barely attending Sunday school six weeks ago, but now they are ready to launch an inquisition because someone posted something questionable online and missed two Wednesdays in a row.
That’s not maturity.
Discipline is not for people who enjoy being severe. It’s for Spirit-filled Christians who are humble enough to know that apart from grace, they could fall too.
Two big errors to avoid
In his book, 50 Core truths of the Christian Faith, Gregg Allison points out two major errors when it comes to church discipline:
The first is neglecting or refusing to practice church discipline at all. That was the problem in Corinth. The church was boasting when it should have been grieving and acting. Churches that abandon discipline are not becoming more loving even though they come off that way and even if people affirm them for this. Often they are just becoming more unwilling to do hard things.
The second is exercising discipline in ways that violate Scripture. That includes calling something “sin” when Scripture does not call it sin, acting with harshness instead of gentleness, and disciplining for vengeance instead of repentance and restoration.
Both errors are extremely important to consider.
Why any of this is good news
So why write an article about this? What’s good in this?
Well, church discipline, as sobering as it is, helps advance the purity of the church, protects it from the spread of sin, and guards the honor of Christ and his church.
Think about that.
What if churches were known not for hypocrisy, cover-up, and selective outrage, but for holiness, honesty, repentance, and real restoration? I recently witnessed a popular YouTuber come out with a lengthy video on a mega churches coverup that had been happening for years. It involved perversion, lies, and cowardice behavior. Many people were hurt through all of it. And this is becoming more and more common. One pastor after the other is exposed. Why? Because sin isn’t taken seriously.
What if the church’s message was not just, “God forgives sinners,” but also, “God actually changes sinners”? That is part of what discipline is meant to display. The church is not full of perfect people. The gospel clearly states this. So doesn’t it make sense that correction will be needed? Is it unloving to say that a sinful person, saved by grace, needs help? Isn’t it clear that we need churches that refuse to make peace with persistent, public, unconfessed sin because our savior died for them? We need a church that takes holiness seriously because Christ is holy. We need a church that practices truth and mercy together. We need a church that says, “We love you too much to lie to you.”
Final thought
Church discipline is not cheerful, it’s not light, it’s not the kind of doctrine that makes people slap the armrest and say, “Now that was fun.” But, can I say, it’s loving. It’s one of the ways Christ protects his people, purifies his church, warns the wandering, restores the repentant, and upholds his own honor.
I joked at the beginning that nobody is putting it on a pillow or a coffee cup. But, I do think it needs to be upheld and honored more than it is, because a church that never corrects is not more loving, nor is a church that practices biblical discipline being cruel. Rather, it’s doing one of the hardest, strangest, most necessary acts of love Christ gave it to do.
Because we need it.
Cling to Christ!
Scripture references if you want to dive deeper: Matthew 16:19; Matthew 18:15–20; Matthew 18:17–18; Romans 16:17–18; 1 Corinthians 5:1–7; 1 Corinthians 5:5–6; 2 Corinthians 2:6–11; Galatians 6:1; 2 Thessalonians 3:6, 11–12; 1 Timothy 1:3–4; 1 Timothy 5:19–21; Titus 1:9–14; Titus 3:10–11; 1 John 2:18–19; 2 John 9–11.
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