The Theology of Diaper Changing

Reflections on the task every dad hates

Photo by Kai Wenzel on Unsplash

I have to say, as a father, there are few things less captivating than changing a diaper.

It’s not a very impressive thing in fatherhood. It doesn’t feel like the sort of thing that will be remembered by the watching world for its unusual greatness. Indeed, the pride in a dad rarely enjoys holding a wipe in one hand, little feet in the other, with an uncomfortable smell attacking his nose.

So, the question I’m thinking about is: is there anything theological about changing a diaper?

Well let’s start with this: to begin with, it’s a small but vivid reminder that human beings arrive in the world needy. Really needy. Babies are dependent on their parents, helpless, unable to clean themselves, feed themselves, keeping themselves upright, or even explain themselves. We like to imagine ourselves as self-sustaining, but every dirty diaper is a warning against human pride. Life begins in humility and need, and much of our sanctification is God teaching us that it never really changed.

Diaper changing also forces a dad to learn what real love looks like. Anyone can say that children are gifts from the Lord. But, do they say this at 2:13 a.m. when the room is dark, your body is tired, and something currently smells like buttery popcorn and spoiled eggs. Diaper changing makes a dad face hard questions: Do you love the baby, or only the idea of it? Do you cherish the little soul, or only the smiling version of the soul after a bath and a nap? This is the lesson of “how to love” that is hard to appreciate at times.

It’s easy for christian love to remain shallow and “pretty.” But Jesus moved toward our need, our uncleanness, our helplessness, our shame. He changed diapers in another way. He showed us real love by coming down to our level. There’s something about diaper changing that trains the soul in this kind of downward love. It says, in its own way, that love stoops.

But, here’s another thing: It also teaches that service is often repetitive, hidden, and quickly undone. You change the diaper, clean everything up, get the child settled, and before long the whole process begins again. Isn’t this a common battle in many areas of the Christian life? We often serve expecting lasting glory and recognized achievements, don’t we? But, serving is often just the same small obedience returning in regular intervals, asking whether we are willing to be faithful in work that doesn’t accumulate applause.

Who knew that diaper changing could get so deep?

I think that much of holiness consists of ordinary faithfulness offered again and again, especially when nobody is impressed (just like changing diapers). Sanctification happens in repetition. We are continually offered repeated moments of the setting aside of self. The repeated refusal to resent the interruption of that familiar sound and the repeated choice to serve another person’s need before your own comfort. I don’t think diaper changing is useless in the mind of God. Think of it, he gives every parent this persistent task.

Lastly, I think it also has a way of exposing what is in us. You may laugh at that sentence because it sounds like I’m talking about the literal substance found in a diaper. That is funny, but there are things far more gross than that. Things like impatience, irritability, self-pity, the longing to be left alone and the inner bargaining of the heart that says, “surely someone else can do this one.”

In that sense, the changing table becomes a place where I ask for grace. It becomes a mirror to me and shows me, again, why Christ had to come to my rescue. This is a good thing, because it’s better to find out at the changing table than to keep believing in my own self-righteousness.

But in all of this, my home is being shaped by every diaper that I change. My children may not remember the diapers themselves, and perhaps that’s the comedy in God’s plan, but their daddy is still being formed by these moments.

And if I had to say anything theological about diaper changing, I think this is it.

It teaches a parent a lot about themselves if they pay attention and it’s a great lesson in serving and love.

So, if you’re a dad, don’t be afraid to change a diaper.

Cling to Christ!